Friday, June 07, 2002

ok now i have even MORE of a reason to work hard at tenglish aside from pride competitiveness etc now i also have the shallow reasons band 6 = Z3 (I'm not complaining.) band 5 = Power book (woo hoo) band four nothing :) or should that be :( either way I WANT THAT Z3 though mom wants it to be some other car because she still thinks z3s are unsafe
well this proves my theory that people dont read this or only read this looking for one thing etc because i specifically said i dont like rich in "that" way hes a cool guy etc but not my type
well I officially have NO social life any more monday two hours of math tutor tuesday jordy comes over and teched me english then avas for math wednesday some wierd expert math teacher comes ovar teaches me math then thurs jordy and avas again then ion friday moms just coming up with stupid ideas to improve my spelling FUN! fuck

Thursday, June 06, 2002

oh yeah and throughout the night mom was making excuses for me maybe the reason he forgets his book i sbecause hes gone off hil Ritalin etc etc and dad was jus tplain stupid and embarasing as usual
well you obviously u didn't wish me luck

parent teacher interviews i WAS looking forward to them untill ig to my exams back nbow for the first time since the erin fiasco i just want to cry wierd huh something about school makes me want to cry more than haveing one of my friends rip out my heart(trust) and do a dance on it

basically they told me i dont know how to put basic sentances together sdont know how to paragraph hell they even told me i dindt know how to use fucking periods properly the worst part is that i feel SO FUCKING bad that im going to tatleast have a detrimental effect on em and rich's marks for the speech

according to the teachersoh hes inbtelligent he just cant write so maybe iu can give them i deas but i dont seem to be very good at that either im just good at finding other peoples out like art i just took keith haring's idea of simplistic figures and applied it to the things that surround me in my fucking life IE my friends i feel that if i am surrounded by my friends that it wont matter what anyone else has to say because my friends are the only important people in ym life

that would explain why i have been so defensive and distant tonight with my "perfect" educated dad and my perfect social mother and mybrother got the social genes so what does that leave me with my academic? if it were any other subject i could tell myself that theyre bad teachers and that it was the ideas that count but thtus us english my favourite subject which i love more than anything m,opre than art i always thought there was something magical about being able (or not able in my case) to express ones thoughts and ideas through simple predetermined words unlike with art where its just whatever you want to do fuck!

I think the best word for me right now if a failure i havent lived up to my parents standards i havent lived up to school's standards of inteligence i havent evenm lived up to the social standard of being straight To make it worse since i have convinced myself that the only people in the world that matter are my friends and my friends are the only people that read this their going ton read this and feel sorry for me which is not what i want if you think of me normally i would crack a joke or two about my bad exam amrk and make emily or whoever did bad fel better about themselfs

first thought is i should make an artwork about how i feel which is exactly the opposite of what i want to do so i wrote this entry because atleast then i get tom practise my basic sentance structure and NOT useing any periods at all

i think i am addiucted to sadness/depression because since i am so not depresed and am ALWAYS so happy theat when i ahve ANY reason to be less than happy i always over do it and generally focus on iot for such a long time also why i hang out withy the depressed crowd mitch h aaron caroline etc because atleast then i can get my fix of depresssion? just a theory atleast im starting to feel better

flip a coin if heads tell who i like if tails dont heads... oh well maybe i'll weigh uip the benefits and negatives

ok now the way i usually do this i spositives negatives for him fist so here are the positives for him:
feel uncomfortable around me
doesnt know how to act
feels like im always looking at them etc

Positives for me
im not keeping a secret as much
feel uncomfortable around them for the first times
DONT VOTE IF I"VE TOLD YOU WHO I *LIKE* hmmmmm posting your ideas in the forum might be better... then i know who thinks what.. hmmmmmm

parent teacher interviews tonight wish me luck.. hmm i should put a poll: are you wishing mike luck?

Events today:
well apparently i wrote something in my last entry that makes it sound like the crush was on rich well its not hes an option in the poll <---- just to seee how many of you actually read this.

nothing eventful but our drama production is guna be so good it has a very powerful message blah blah blah nyeh its entertaining and powerull ok look i know its good i dont have to keep repeating my self do i ?

well apparently you guys like to see what mood im in, what somg the post deserves and responder i think i will also l add the4 rule that i have to have either a thought or a question or i could eat my speaker mmmm magnet

*points out the obvious* WOW mike your powers of deduction are wasted on me quick you must use your power to save the world!!!!!!!!

song: anything by ice cube
Responder: caramello koalla i want to ask him if he realises he has the same initials as calvin klein and if he does then can i sue him for trademark infringement?
Mood: energetic *dances* hyped may be a beter word from all the adrenalin of something something
question/thought: if cows could talk life would be more interesting ( i know its not a very good thought but i couldnt think[un not intended but it is funny isnt it :)] of anything better

Wednesday, June 05, 2002

i found the cooooolest web page its MAd it is some really spart person / people talking about stuff thats race related its times like these that i wish i hadnt written my area of study esay this would have been perfect to write about its a new and innovative form of text madd!!!
ok 2 things Each day i will have a minimum of one post and i only need to use the rules on one of them if i get any ideas telling my that i should keep em on all posts i will

i added a poll MAHD!!! now you can all give me feed back mahd planned posts whos reading this it will span a few days because i cant list all the possibilities on one poll so some on the first nday some on the next day

umm i think thats all :) still trying to think of a good hint

Tuesday, June 04, 2002

todays events etc:

my day consisted of 4 periods of english and 3 of art YAY oh and one of math but math
art was good...
english was bad then good
nothing really interesting happened in my social life

4 english yay tripple extension english and then advanced english yay yay yay i love english...

art was amd i got my big poster of emily cut out now i just have to do the spray painting htough i think i may change the meaning of my work from the meaning of individual works to the stages of friend ship the people dont look like the people theyre supposed to anyways

well i fucked up my english exam as i expected i NEVER do good in exam conditions i just think way to quick and and then my haBDS are trying to catch up and it all gets jumbled... but i love english my assignment i also know i would do bad on it was rushed the thing that surprised me was how bad i did on my advanced english i came 57/60 WTF!? i got A on every piece of writing i handed in fuck i HATE ases ments

in 3 eng today though i got my bad marks back then i was working on the assignment with rich and em they gave me zac to write about (freddies prinze jr in She's all that) so either they feel I'm not as good as them at english (that makes them sound way more arrongant than they really are) Or the more likely scenario is that they read this blog( if you are readin this dont worry) and just saw that i thought freddie pronze jr was well.. good lookin :P which would also expolain why they were laughing why i was talking with mrs jackson

hmmmmmm should i tell you who (specificaally) i have a crush on?.... maybe i could just give you a clue.... i'll think about it

hmm it seems that with this new list what i did in the day this blog becomes more of a recount than a place where i put my ideas concepts etc

hmmm i might come back later and post a clue

Song: my friend by groove amada because rich being such a goods friend said that it obviously must have been a fluke for me to fuck up that bad at my exam (another swear word second time i have sworn in my blog) (fuck my exam up that bad) just practising my english i was like woah rich has confidence in me woah...
game: i could play super monkey ball right now...
text: my 3eng exam actually my drama exam so you can read what i wrote about my drama teach
webpage: some sort of webpage that helps you with your english
responder: i could put freddie here for kicks or i could put rich for being so nice or i could put freddo mthe frog because he's delicious though caramello's better

Monday, June 03, 2002

i got upthis morning and i remembered one of olivier's friends, matt in my grade at school was apparently in a car crash the other day apparently he took out his moms brand new mercedes ML which is the SUV and he crashed it straight into a tree and cut up al the top of his face and had a few huge cuts going around the side of his hear he also tore a ligament in his arm but it was probably due to to recless driving because he tended to go a bit crazy and didnt know when to stop, his dads a police officer and he went out in his uniform and his car and stuff some people are insane!!!!

mood: sleepy i just got up
song:i duno
game:burnout mad driving game where they focus on the crashes so everything looks mahd
web page: uhhh...
text... uh.....
ok another update on car companies not the car people metaphhores once you get me started on soemthing i dont stop for a while even though i do have a.d.d. and am supposed not to be able to focues for more than a minuite :) NAYWAYS i used to really love mercedes they always had the sexies coolest cars then my dad told me they got new managemtn i was like ohk i gess thats alright then he told me that tehy were shifting money form design to marketing BAD BAD BAD R&D is the most important thing in my opinion so now im a BMW man

um hmm my crush on miata(the person) seems more and more whatever the word is that means stronger or whatever

anyways i think i shall hold a contest (though with nmo reward) for people to try to guess what type of car they are or what type of car someone else is

oh yeah i was guna do thay whole day summary thing wasnt i ok here it goes
1)played around with deon luke and jared trying to slap each other
2) Aaron came over to work on our business plan
3) i went out for coffee with john his girl (i love that expresion no matter how sexist it is) and olivier

basicaly at lunch deon walkedc up and slapped the back of my hand owwvand then me jared and luke started doing it aswell we got rich for a while ut he weas far to lazy or maybe he found it too diufficult to stand on his own for he felt the strong need to clasp his hands around his girlfriend lol no offence rich emily

Aaron (my ex crush before miata lol that sounds soooo funny) came over to work on our business plan but his mom came early so we didnt get much workl done grrrr ohwell as fer why he's my EX crush a crush can only last a certain time before you (finally ) get discouraged it lasted about 2.5 years for me :P

and finally i went out for coffee it was ok i had a hot chocolate then was 41 minuites late :P

oh and on the night of the deb me and caroline were talking and i actually said that i thoughti i was deving a crsuh on *miata* (of course i used their real name) and then i actually used the word gay i have never actually vocalised the words till then its always been typing it felt soooo good i havent felt anxious for th elast two nights since lets see if its true tonight then i might start believing theres a connection if so i would be so fucking happy id have a party my *look everyone im bnackl to normal and dont feel so anxious over stupid reaoons anymore * party i get anxious over the stupiest things once i thought aaron was guna be crushed by a pool table once i thought i was ngoing to have a heart attakc once i thought that since my life was sooo good now that surely SURELY something drastic or horrible would have to happen to *make up* for it i one thought my achiles tendon was guna snap one of the funnier ones was i thought i was guna break a tooth so i spent the rest of the night til i fell asleep with my tongue inbetween my teef just incaste um

um remember that cool guy i was tellin ya about last night that i met on mogenic he's really nice n all but i get the feeling he's not thatr interested because he doesnt seem to put much effort into keeping the conversation going like if i say yeah sleeping in is so cool and lazy he will say nothing so thben i have to ask a question its basically question answer question answer.

oh yes and i have a funky kung foo groove

song: rock the casbah because its cool
mood: relaxed
game: sonic adventure two i just really want to play it
webpoage: blogger!!!!!
text: my msn conversation with mitch :) and no you arent going to read it!!!

Sunday, June 02, 2002

ok to follow in carolines lead i am giving all ym friends code names but instead of icky veggies you alkl get sexy cars because truthfully who doesnt like pretty cars unlike caroline however i will only use these code name sif someone has said please dont mention me or if i think it might embarass the other person

first oder of business is i thuink i might be eveloping a crush on miata (which by the way is the american name for the mazda mx5 and i bet rihgt now your all really confused huh) oh and i got over aiden hes to nyeh

the mx5 (the car not the person because no one is the mx5) is bmw Z3's onlky real campetiotion but they each have their strong points the mx5 takes corners better however the z3 has a faster engine for straights sorry i have a thing for z3's and now that i have started talking(typing) about cars i wont stop for another paragraph anyways apparently fiat one of the biggest companies in italy is going bankrupt seems no one wants mazeratis and fararis

lately i have been really likeing the joke yeah im always *whatever* except when im not its so stupid and not funny but myerh i know i suxxor

do you know what i want im pretty sure all of you have already heard me talking aboiut this but a pen that could write on air would be soooo cool
i went to the deb and it was mahd except for tom erin and jared becuaswe they spent the whole time sitting in a room complaining when they were missing the best parts i swear it seems like EVERYBODY is a pessimist these dasys

i was searching mogenic ( a gay and lez youth page) and i found this really cute guy like months ago and i just got up the guts to say hhi and he seems soo nice so far :D only problem is his name is mike too !!!

hmmmmlets see so far the cars i am uszing as ppl's names are:
austin martin
a light blue car
those cars with lotsa hydrolics
merc A class
Notice how there is no Z3 that is because they are my fav car and no one is my fav friends exceptr maybe the miate right now :P

Song: daft punk digital love
text: my conversation with that other mikey guy
Responder: miata :P
mood: sick :( yet playful)
webpage mogenic for making me meet this cute guy (and no he's not miata i only use the cars for close firnds)
game: eternal darknes damn man this game is mahd