Saturday, July 27, 2002

Life is so incrediosly (my new word) boring when none of the following people are on an IM, Tom2 Luke Caroline Jason and if you had it you. But Jason is in Israel, Tom2 is "be right back" Luke is a bum Caroline isn't on and you don’t have Trillian / AOL IM / Yahoo IM / MSN IM (yuk) / ICQ

I have discovered drawing is quite a relaxing and noble pursuit. Though nothing is quite a worthy subject, except men of course :P.

I can't wait until I can leave home. All I need is a job and I'm out of this place. I hate having to put up with John's lying, irresponsibility, lack of respect, lack of manners, lack of common sense, general stupidity, lack of self control, ignorance, unhygienic and every other fault a person can have.

Then there's is mom's complaining about how john is always coming in late so she gets no sleep, complaining that the house is crap and we need to fix all this stuff, complaining that there is too much for her to remember (she never lets anyone else organize everything thereby locking herself in as the sole responsible person), Her constantly too buisy to think about anything that I want because she is working out the budget for JOHN'S car getting info for JOHN'S assignments making sure she doesn’t stress JOHN (so he doesn’t get another "psychotic episode"). Apparently not stressing john involves ignoring me except when she wants to complain.

Dad is just generally stupid and has no sense of other people. He wakes me up early on Saturday to ask me if I want to go to towers. He is always in New York, Milan, France, London, or some other place. His lack of hygiene is worse than John's. He is the biggest hypocrite his whole line of work is based around saving the environment and yet at home he never recycles or remembers to turn off lights or saves water.

Then there's me. I cant do anything in this house I cant go out without worrying that my mom is going to be bored. I feel bad whenever I leave her alone. I cant put pictures of hot guys on the wall like most guys put hot chix on their walls. I am treated like a child "mike for dinner you can order pizza" because of course I'm not old enough to know HOW TO COOK DINNER. The only privacy I get is my computer which I can password protect so that means I can talk to guys online and that’s it. I'm too paranoid to meet people online because my mom always thinks they're going to be 40 year old men who want to kidnap me (back to the I'm not a child argument)

Why I can't move out
I have no income, though I am hoping to change that. Even if I did get an income I wouldn’t be able to afford living by my self, let alone the anxiety I would feel at night. I'd feel too bad for mom being stuck in that house hold alone with john and dad. I have no transport, though I suppose I could learn the bus system.

So far the reasons to leave outweigh the reasons to stay. Maybe I should talk to Ingrid. She is moving out soon I think. At least people might start taking me seriously. What are the chances I'll actually move out? Though my mom did move out when she was 17. But I always get so excited about stuff then never do it. So theoretically if I move out I might start taking my self seriously.

Monday, July 22, 2002

This blog entry is just a test entry to see if Bloger is still "broken"

Sunday, July 21, 2002

Well, long time no... blog. To be blunt the main catalyst for this entry was tonite's basketball game. For whatever reason I am completely sure that the only guy on the other team was gay and had a thing for me. (I know far too optimistic). Then I put some logic in. One guy on a team of chix. I'm pretty damn sure that that wouldnt often happen and gays generally gat along better with chixx. The fact that he tried to "grab" me kinda cemented my ideas. I made sure to shake his hand... Twice to give him the right idea. so Best basket ball game EVER. P.S. if your reading this my msn is pacmacjak@mac aol is thejunglebunnie yahoo is pacjunglebunnie and icq is 63347476